A Note To My Husband

Dear Husband,

I have never been so in love with you than I am right now. Really though. You're sitting across from me playing your guitar and though you're not really paying any attention to me, there's just this overwhelming feeling of love in our home. Maybe you disagree, you're so focused on playing the right chords on your guitar... I don't know. (So justin told me that he thinks that this made him sound like a jerk, I don't think so... He was playing guitar and I was blogging, both sitting right next to each other doing our own thing. It's nice that we can do that. That we can do our own things while still enjoying each other's company. I'll tell you what made him sound like a jerk though... When he told me my humming is as bad as my whistling! Ughh.)

So this last week has been pretty terrible. I was the sickest that I've been in a long time. Not only did I feel and sound like death, but I looked like it too. And even though you were going to bed every night with death, you still managed to look at me with so much love in your eyes. Maybe that was all an act to try to make me feel better, but I really don't think so. Thank you for loving me, and I'm sorry for being completely useless and grumpy.

And though I coughed all night, every night this week and you didn't get to sleep well, you didn't complain. Thank you. And even though you probably needed the sleep more than me, thank you for sleeping on the couch with me where I could prop myself up and not cough so much. And thank you for knowing that I wouldn't sleep on the couch by myself. I don't like the idea of sleeping in separate rooms, even though it's just because I'm sick.

And thank you for making me go to the doctors. I would have bronchitis by now had you not made me. 

I am married to YOU, for the rest of my life. And I can't wait to see all the things the rest of our life together entails! I'm so lucky to be your wife.

 

You are the sun to my day and the moon to my night.

I sure do love us. I've seriously found the one whom my soul loves.

Getting My Priorities Straight

MI have not blogged a while a month. It's not that I didn't want to blog, but honestly, it just wasn't a priority.I started working longer days at work, eight hours to be exact. (and I'm not trying to make excuses, seriously, just trying to explain why it wasn't a priority...) And most of you are probably like eight hours?! That's what grownups work! Did I mention I work with kids with autism? (Also not an excuse) 

Anyways, my hours got bumped up (thanks to my own self), I figured I was already going to be there all day, why not be on the clock? Well, that was dumb. For a lot of reasons. Now don't get me wrong, I love my job. Seriously, the best and most rewarding job I have ever had. 

Just a little side note: I have always struggled with what I want to be when I "grow up". Problem being that I want to do everything and schooling just takes way too much time. Especially because I don't care about math or history or whatever. I just want to learn about the job and all it entails. And not even just learn, but do. Sometimes too much time is spent in the classroom and not enough actually doing the job. Also, school is a lot of money that I have never been able to afford and the idea of loans stress me out. I don't want to borrow money and then spend the rest of my life paying it off just to want to go to school for something else later. The list of things I've wanted to do is ridiculously long and I've been fortunate enough to have been able to try out most of them to some degree.

So because I haven't known what I wanted to do, I've done and tried lots of things. Though thing I seemed to love most was working with kids. And thanks to my husband and friend Casey, I got a job with the school district (have I told this story before? Oh well...) 

I'm currently employed as an IBIA, Intensive Behavioral Instruction Assistant. I work with kids who have developmental delays. Basically helping students with autism learn to learn. Their behaviors (and developmental delays) often interfere with their ability to learn and I help by targeting those behaviors and working with the student to reduce them.

Not gonna lie, it's a tough job. Not only is it physically exhausting but also emotionally. Which brings me to the eight hour days... There are a lot of people who work those hours and I honestly don't know how they do it! It was hard, because I love my job so much. And I just want to learn more and do more and because of that, I started to over work myself a little bit. I'd come home and be so exhausted! And just sit on the couch. And do nothing the rest of the night.

But I love working! Most of the people are just amazing and have hearts so big and the kids are awesome too (also not so awesome, but that comes with the job. I can't even tell you how many times I've been hit, kicked, pinched, spit on, had stuff thrown at me, diapers to change, clothes to change, running, some days are just filled with running and even hit with a stupid tennis ball.) There's just so many more things that make it rewarding though. Like when a student hasn't had a "tantrum" in over a month! Or another one who is non verbal tells you "No!" because he doesn't want his grapes. There is nothing as awesome and sweet and amazing as when those things, progress, happens. That's why I do what I do. And it may not seem like much to you, but it truly is.

And then there was the fact that Justin was getting off work earlier. Which meant that he had time to come home and relax and then I'd get off work and be way to tired. I was giving too much at work and not enough at home. And since I was tired all time, blogging was definitely not a priority. Neither were the dishes or vacuuming or making dinner. So we decided that I was working too much. And now that I've less hours to work, more time with my husband, and just about back to complete health after having the worst week of sickness of my life. I'm back at it again.