Life Is Cray

Crazy.

 Life is craZy.

Stupid husband. He jokes about the lame things people say like, "that's so cray." He mocks them by repeating what they say, but he says it so much that it becomes part of his lingo. But because he says it so much, it also becomes part of mine. We say it jokingly, but we still say it. Ughh, we're lame too.

I hate sitting at the doctors office and waiting. All I can think about are things I can/should be doing right at this moment but can't, because I'm stupid waiting. Oh well. I should look at it as break time. Especially because its giving me the chance to write this blog.

So why is life cray you may ask? Drama. Drama drama drama drama. I hate drama. I try not to make it and I sure as hell try not be around it. I know, we all say that and still it happens. 

But what happens when you're in a place filled with drama and you can't get away?! And some how, by the efforts of someone else, your words get twisted and things just blow up and get out of control! And you're just doing the best you can to keep the peace and pick up the dominoes as they fall.

Here's what I did:

- I meditated on Mark 6:34. Jesus had compassion on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd.

I meditated and then meditated some more.

- I prayed for patience. A lot.

- I apologized for any possible miscommunications. 

- I was even more friendly than usual. Well, I sure tried to be anyways.

- I walked away when I couldn't handle a situation. People say that to walk away shows extreme cowardice. But really, I think just the opposite. It really shows strength. To walk away from a situation before it gets out of control, a situation where you may be thinking hurtful things and might possibly say them and to walk away and not say those things, is strength. I don't want to say things out of hate or angry. I want to them out of love and when I can't, I walk away. A lot harder than it sounds.

- and when I finally got home from what felt like the longest day of my life, I cried. A lot. And then cried a little more.

- and then I thanked and praised God. For a lot of things. For Him, for the patience and strength he'd given me throughout the day, the opportunity to shine His light through my kindness, my husband who held me while I cried, and for the kindness and good things throughout the day that I may not have seen then, but realized when I got home, and then cried a little more. Mostly for His grace.

I sure tell ya though. I'm not perfect. And I'm certainly not trying to portray myself as so. Because honestly, I used the f word a lot. Though mostly to myself and a lot of the time I made the f sound in its place or effin instead and though in the company of people who were sharing in my discomfort. I also did not give someone a validation card.

But hey, we've all got stuff to work on right? And now I know what those things are.

Take care,